Once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.

Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.

I very early caught on that the editor of Cincinnati Post had something specific in mind that he was looking for, and I tried to accommodate him in order to get published. I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn't please him, so he sent me packing.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?