I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.
Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.