All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?

I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.

When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"