I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

Try to live in a place you like.

A fart is just your arse applauding.

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

Don't die until you're dead.