I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.

Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.

Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.

I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.