Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.

Never trust anybody with only one book.

Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.

When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.

I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will say, "I'm a comedian" - the guy selling you the jeans. The desire to be a comedian is weird. I found it weird myself to want to be one; I was a schoolboy when I wanted to be one but I didn't know how to do it. That was 50 years ago, so times have changed greatly. There seems to be a long line of people desperate to do it and most of them are quite good.