Try to live in a place you like.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather.

I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.