I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

Don't vote, it only encourages them.