Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'

Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

The strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you're a zombie. And you're talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.

I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.

If you give people a chance, they shine.