When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.