Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.

There's nothing better than a fight, especially when you're watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.

Politically correct is the language of cowardice.

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"