When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'.

People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.

I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.

Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.