A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.

I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.

A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?