Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

It's my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.

When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'.

I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve".

Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.