A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"
Billy ConnollyWisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
Billy ConnollyMy definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy ConnollyI don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
Billy Connolly