Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.

I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve".

All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!