As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?

Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.

Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.