The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.

Nothing means anything here. When they pull down an outstanding building, no one objects. Oh, maybe there's a wee protest from some collectors or something who take a picture of it before it vanishes.

Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!