People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

I used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.

Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

I'm a huge film star... but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f--ing minutes. I'm the only guy I know who died in a f--ing Muppet movie.

Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born; nowhere! It's over!

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease.