Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.
Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.