Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally, I think its bollocks!!

I used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

There's nothing better than a fight, especially when you're watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.

If you give people a chance, they shine.