Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.

As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.

I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.

Don't work out, work in.