If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.

Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!

When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

Acting is a different discipline. On stage I'm free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.