By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

To be good, you need to believe in what you're doing.

It is better to look good than to feel good.

Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do,' and it ain't that great?

I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.

I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach - Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did - he was a giant.

At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.