I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.
Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.