Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.