If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.

I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.