I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It's like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.

The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.

I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.