If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.

The average person has one Fallopian tube.