I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?

I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

I don't like calling myself a "feminist" only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It's more like a character that's sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.

What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.