For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

Love is all about... whistles.

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.

I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.