For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.