For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy

I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.