Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.

I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.

The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.

And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.