Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.

The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.

People are gonna think that MTV censored me, and they really didn't. I really wanted to try to make a show that didn't rely on offensive, edgy material because I think it was an exercise in trying to write without that. Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.

Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.