Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you're on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don't want to be onstage looking like a robot, I want to be at the end of the day very emotional and what feels like someone being up there rather than reciting things. That's always the challenge, to analyze and then somehow lose yourself in something you absolutely know backwards and forwards. And nothing's going to surprise you, but you have to be surprised by it and let it surprise you.

I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.