I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.

I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.

What's that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I'll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

The average person has one Fallopian tube.

When life gets you down, make a comforter!