All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

I just like to write and then perform.

My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.

My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.