All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.

The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.

I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.