All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It's like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, 'I think you try too hard in your comedy.' And that's what I worry about.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.

I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.