I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.

Love is all about... whistles.

I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.

Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy