I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

At the time of 'Words, Words, Words,' I'm a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he's entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that's inherently a little bit ridiculous.

The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.