I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.

I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.

I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

Where are all the sour patch parents?