I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.