Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.

My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I'm going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.