I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

Do you guys like impressions? "Why?" That was Socrates.