Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.