I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.

I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

I'm happy with what I'm doing. I try not to focus on how I've changed. I just try to focus on what I'm doing now.

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?