My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I don't like calling myself a "feminist" only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.

The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.

Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.