I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.

I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It's like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, 'I think you try too hard in your comedy.' And that's what I worry about.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.