Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.

I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It's like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.