Love is all about... whistles.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.