America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

Please don't stand up on my account.

And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.