America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'

Television is the box they buried entertainment in.