The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.