It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.