She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

Television is the box they buried entertainment in.

Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.