The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.