I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.

Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.

I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.