You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.