Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!